The Life and Times of Armin Arlert
by PanDitty
Summary: It's not easy managing a house with two kids, a husband and a calico named Vivi, but Armin manages to keep track of his life in a small diary. ((summary bound to change)) / Rivarmin Established Relationship
1. An Introduction of Sorts

**October 07, 20XX**

**7:45PM**

Dear Diary,

It feels kind of weird writing in this thing... I haven't written anything since my honors thesis in college, so this will be an adjustment. I guess I could start by introducing myself, though I don't think anyone besides me would read this. My name is Armin Arlert. I'm a twenty-eight near old "mother" to a five year old named Cyril and a newborn named Isabel. Levi, my husband, decided to name our daughter after his late sister. Our son's name was spur of the moment, but...

Hmmm... I don't know what else to write right now.

**8:15PM**

Okay, so I guess I do have something to write about now. Levi managed to get Cyril into the tub for a bath but had to spend a few minutes chasing him around to get clothes on. For some reason our son insists on not wearing clothes and is proud to be naked. That makes me worry... But that's normal, right? Levi rarely talks about his childhood and I don't remember going through a rebellious phase. I guess Cyril is starting young. He has my eyes, his father's hair and- one second, he's running around with pants on his head.

**8:30PM**

Thankfully Cyril avoided the stairs but it took the both of us to catch him and put his pajamas on properly. He grinned like it was the biggest accomplishment of his life and puffed his chest out once he was fully clothed. "I could have figured it out." He's precious but I worry about him. Levi claims that I shouldn't worry so much because he's young, but still. Isabel tends to be rather quiet unless she's hungry or needs her diaper changed. I tried teaching Levi how to change her, and he's getting better, but he has the habit of making sure the straps are perfectly aligned and angled.

"I don't want her wriggling out the way Cyril did." That was his reasoning at least.

... I still don't really know what to write in this thing. Maybe I'll go check in on Isabel before taking a shower.

**11:26PM**

I lied, I do have something I want to write about. It happened a few days ago, but I decided to buy a new pair of yoga pants to keep on with my workout routine. Normally I would try them on before buying...but they were on sale.. So I went home, changed and went on with my routine. Though...I wasn't expecting Levi to get home so early. So somewhere between me being in downward facing dog on the floor and missionary in the bed, my new yoga pants ended up damaged...

So I tried to return them...

The cashier tried asking me why there was a hole in the seat of the pants, but I was too flustered to tell the truth. I eventually said that I snagged it on something and left it at that. I'm pretty sure they gave me a strange look, but what else was I supposed to say?! Just thinking about it now makes my face heat up...

To make matters worse my husband gave me a small compliment on how nice my rear looked in those pants. Well, they were nice... But now I want to tell him that he owes me a new pair of yoga pants.

It's getting late and I have to wake up early to get ready. Hopefully this wasn't too awkward. Ehhh... Writing about that makes me feel awkward..

Nighty night.


	2. Reflection, maybe?

**October 08, 20XX**

**9:45AM**

Dear Diary,

Being on maternity leave the second time around isn't so bad to be honest. The first time was mostly difficult because Levi was constantly gone on business trips. Miserable, not difficult. Even if we called each other everyday while he was gone it didn't help when it came to the distance. I was twenty-three when I got pregnant with Cyril, but I met Levi back when I was a freshman at our university. He was a junior at the time and offered to tutor me in French. Heh.. The rest is embarrassing history after that.

Note to self:  
>write about the honeymoon later.<p>

Anyway, this morning Levi was a little late to work because Isabel decided to spew formula on his shoulder. He seemed mildly surprised, quietly handed her over to me and quickly went upstairs to change his shirt. Once he came back I asked if he was okay and he answered: "I just have to get used to that again." Which I understand because it's been five years and a few months since Cyril was a baby. I'm honestly readjusting to waking up in the middle of the night, but Levi joins me and we sometimes we reminisce about the past since we are both wide awake by then. If I called Levi a cuddlebug to his face he would probably stare at me, so I'll just write it here.

Levi is a cuddlebug~

**1:00PM**

Got a call from the school. Cyril tried putting a crayon up his nose again.

**2:30PM**

I'm sure everyone has that one friend. The one who you've known since you were kids and is also the biggest pervert you've ever known. Well, Eren is that friend for me. The friend who keeps reminding me that I'm awkward even at age twenty-eight.

For example, Eren had this elaborate plan of getting me and Levi to meet each other on the football field. He would be standing in the announcer box and would play some cheesy music to set the mood. This was back while we were in college. He would also keep bugging me to tell Levi that I thought he was 'hot', and even now I still get a little flustered just thinking back to that. Am I really that awkward?

He also kept telling me stories about how he and Jean ended up together, but that would mostly result in the two of them bickering about how they have different memories of how it happened. I should probably go visit them soon since their son is in the same class as Cyril. Maybe I should bring some cookies. Then again cupcakes taste better, so I will just make some of those to take over.

Note to self:  
>Find a day to visit Eren and Jean.<p>

**4:00PM**

My little man keeps telling me that he wants to be a space pirate for Halloween this year. Originally, Cyril wanted to just be a pirate. Then he learned about astronauts and wanted to be that. Now a space pirate. Levi and I are just thankful he didn't go with 'space cowboy'. That could have meant anything, but he only chuckled before giving me a kiss on the cheek and told me not to worry about it. Levi's currently taking a nap with Isabel on the couch. I won't show him the picture I took of them, but it's really cute.

**6:32PM**

Trying to write this as best I can with one hand. Isabel fell asleep, but on me this time. Levi volunteered to make dinner, but his version of "making dinner" consists of ordering out 99% of the time. Last time was pizza, so this time might be- hold on a minute.

**6:40PM**

I honestly know what to expect when changing a diaper. But this time it was a mess.

**10:00PM**

Too tired to write more.. So I will just explain things in the morning.  
>Nighty night~!<p> 


	3. Intro to Big Bottoms and Sex Life

**October 23, 20XX  
>11:20AM<strong>

Dear Diary,

I think I finally understand the meaning of "mom jeans". Since the weather is starting to cool down I decided to dig out some of my older jeans. The ones I would wear before I was pregnant with Cyril. I managed to get my legs into them, but they just wouldn't go past my hips... I figured I had just gained a little weight, but bouncing up and down, trying to suck in my stomach, and freezing up just as my husband saw me squirming to pull them up on the bed made me realize that I needed bigger pants. Thankfully Levi didn't question what I was doing.

After Cyril was born I barely wore regular pants. During fall and winter I would just wear sweatpants or pajamas. Levi was the only one with a job at the time. I quit my job, we moved into a bigger house in the suburbs when I was near the end of my second trimester, and maternity pants became quite comfy.

Levi asked if my butt got bigger while I was making dinner last night and I almost threw the skillet at him... Instead I got a little flustered, and it didn't help that he teased me about "late night exercises" and said that he liked my "new" butt. ...It's now a new butt. It's pregnancy weight... *pout*

I should probably turn into one of those mom's who goes jogging with their baby strollers. Yoga keeps me flexible, but I want to get back into my old jeans.

**Shopping List:  
><strong>Diapers  
>Formula<br>Canned fruits and veggies  
>Briefs for Cyril<br>Socks for Cyril  
>Toothpaste<br>Dental floss  
>Mouthwash<br>Food for dinner  
>Condoms<p>

**1:00PM**

I'm twenty-eight years old and I still can't buy condoms without A) being a little embarrassed, B) being hit on by cashiers and C) being asked if I still go to high school. I have a wedding ring and two kids! Why am I so awkward...?

**4:00PM**

Cyril called me "big bottom" today. Where did he even learn that?!

**4:50PM**

Isabel looks so much like Levi that it honestly makes me wonder what he looked like as a baby. I'm currently rocking her crib with my foot while writing this, but it makes me wonder. Speaking of which, Isabel is rather small and I worry about her all the time... I was scared the day she was born. An emergency c-section because she wouldn't turn. When the doctors checked her they told me should would have breathing problems as she got older, so we have to monitor her carefully. She's a quiet baby, so I often have to check to make sure she her chest moves while she sleeps.

I think she will be more like Levi as she grows up. She has my hair, but I see so much of her father in her. Every time I look at Cyril and Isabel, I'm reminded of how Levi never thought he would be a father. Worried about not being good enough. Worried about not being able to provide or take care of a child. Heh.. He was actually surprised that I fell in love with him. Even strong men have insecurities at times, but I've never regretted meeting him in that library years ago. I would often ask what he sees in me, but he would only chuckle and tell me that I would know one day. Why can't he just tell me now?

*sigh* Oh well... But but we've been together since we were in college. He proposed to me on the day I graduated, we got married a few months afterwards, and lived in Levi's apartment for a few years before Cyril was born. Which reminds me, I still need to write about the honeymoon... I'll just makes notes at the end of the day.

Isabel should be asleep for a few hours and I need to do a little laundry. It's nice being able to write when I have free time. It's actually kind of relaxing and refreshing.

**11:00PM**

Levi and I have the habit of spooning on the couch at night. Sometimes I end up falling asleep, and Levi either carries me to bed or just waits for me to wake up. Then again, there are the days where he takes the initiative to wake up. If I should mention it, and I'm assuming that it's safe to do so here, my husband...is a _bit_ of a body worshiper. I..I should also mention that I don't mind. He's actually quiet skilled with his mou-

...I need a moment, I'm getting flustered again.

**11:27PM**

I've had a small glass of wine so I should be fine now. Hopefully my handwriting won't be messy... Why am I such a lightweight?

Ah, about my husband. Levi has his moments where he likes to kiss me... Anywhere and everywhere he can when either of us get in the mood. My honeymoon was great. White lingerie, rose petals, body massages, kisses...kisses all over me, messy sheets and little to no sleep. I've always been worried about my body. Worried about my size, about how I would look naked to someone else, but Levi eased most of that anxiety that night. It's a memory that drives me crazy every time I reflect on it.

...I need another drink. Why does he have to be in his office with paperwork right now? Dammit...

**11:45PM**

Is it really that late? I'mean, really? It's so hoooot right now. Mmm..and Levi still hasn't comeoutta his office. The kids are sleepin...but I've also been drinkin a bit. Not so great, huh? Hehehehehehehehe... Mmmm... Sleep? Nah, I'm just...honry? No, that don't look right...

y.

That looks better. Slow it down... Still hooooot..and bothered... Where's my husbaaaaand? Mmm... I'm gonnaa try to find him. Buh firss, noties.

**Notie notes:**  
>See Eren and Geeeenie.<br>Pack luonch for Cyriul.

Nyghti nigy.


	4. My Husband the Potty Mouth

p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"strongOctober 28th, 20XX/strongbr /strong2:30PM/strong/p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Is it really that much to ask for one day where I don't get hit on by someone? I recently decided to visit one of the coffee shops I often studied at while I was in college. Keep in mind that I found some time to go shopping for a new pair of jeans. What I didn't know at the time was that they were form fitting... Stretchy, yes, but also form fitting. Anyways- before I got distracted- I visited one of the coffee shops and decided to spend some time relaxing there.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"I'm pretty patient when it comes to waiting in line, but I felt a little uncomfortable due to the person standing behind me. They were rather tall, somewhat muscular and I could feel their eyes on me. Not in a flattering way, but in the creepy way that I'm sure a lot of people try to avoid. I didn't turn around, but I'm sure he assumed that I was a woman because my hair was pulled back into a ponytail.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;""Excuse me, Miss? Have I met you somewhere before?"p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;""Um, no? I don't think so. What makes you ask?"p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;""I'm not good with faces, Miss, but I'm sure I've seen you from the back somewhere before."p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"If Levi were there the guy probably would have had his ass kicked. But the barista noticed and was nice enough to cover an extra shot in my caramel mocha. Though a little too nice since he wrote his phone number on my receipt. I barely understand how I even attracted my husband, why is everyone flocking to me when I'm wearing a wedding ring?!p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"*sigh*p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"After I complained to Levi about my pants he didn't see a problem with what I was wearing. He said, and I quote, "Besides, it gives me a little more to grab at night." Playful, though I'm still tempted to make him sleep on the couch tonight. I couldn't help but stare at my butt in the mirror once I had gotten back. It didn't look much different, but that quickly changed as I reached back to feel for myself. It's squishier than usual...softer too, maybe, but definitely squishier. I really need loose pants... Maybe I should take the ones I bought yesterday back? Then again, I should just find a way to work out. I still a little baby fat on my tummy along with slight love handles. At least the chest swelling is gone, but that's a story for a later time. Even after being pregnant a second time it's still refreshing to be flat again.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"It times like this when I'm jealous of Eren. Even after having his son he never had remaining problems. Maybe I should ask him for advice, but it tends to end of a perverted note that I would rather avoid. He would probably tell me, "Armin, gratuitous sex is the answer to your weight problems!" but...not like that... I'm bad a writing an impression for Eren.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;" align="center"Note to self:br Work on being less awkward./p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"strong5:23PMstrong/p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"I might have to start reminding Levi not to swear in front of the children. I just got a call from one of the parents of a child in Cyril's class who was called a 'shitty brat'. After some apologizing over the phone - and feeling embarrassed at the thought of Cyril calling someone that at school - I tracked down my husband and told him what happened. Levi had this habit of staring and I'm pretty sure Isabel is picking that habit up from him. He just so happened to have been feeding her at the time, so I had two pairs of smokey grey eyes staring at me. (I regret not having my camera because it was honestly kind of cute- but that's besides the point!)p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;""Well? Anything?" Maybe he didn't take me seriously because I had my hands on my hips rather than crossed in front of me. Maybe it was the fact that he was holding Isabel, but he gave a slight smile before laughing a bit.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;""At least he didn't call him some of the other things I've called my co-workers." p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"He then gave me a brief rundown of the list after Isabel was placed back in her crib for nap.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Shit lord.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Shitty brat.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Douche muffin.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Dipstick pig.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Scrotum lord.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Badly drawn shitfaced graduate.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Nerf sucker.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Artist formally known as Arse Jockey.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Scruffy-looking fuck biscuit.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"And, my personal favorite, irritating unintelligent festering cesspool.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"I'm honestly surprised that he's been able to keep his job as long as he has, but he tells me that Erwin wouldn't be able to keep the company alive without him. Conceited? Maybe, but I'm content as long as he doesn't get fired. It's sad, but true. Because of his potty mouth he's going with me to the next PTA meeting. (I should probably mention that he hates sitting through PTA meetings.) I really considered making him sleep on the couch, but cold weather makes me want to curl up next to him. Besides... Nevermind, I'm not even going to finish that thought. If I go any further I might end up having to get another drink. Levi is in charge of dinner tonight, so that should result in take-out being delivered to our door around six. Which also means that I could find something else to write about.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Now that I think about it, I miss being in the lab. I used to be able to work regularly after Cyril's third birthday. We were able to hire a baby sitter who lived closeby, but then we found out that I had gotten pregnant for a second time. Maternity leave allows me to be with the kids, but miss working on experiments and spending hours in the lab... I still keep in touch with my research partner and she keeps me informed on the projects we used to work on, though...I can't help but feel envious at times. Silly, right?...p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"That reminds me, I never really talked about my first pregnancy have I?p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"The first time around was rather...emotional to say the least... There were multiple instances where Levi was gone away on business. Coping with him being gone for a couple of weeks at time wasn't easy. Just being able to hear his voice or see him on my computer screen wasn't enough. I would find myself crying a lot when we wasn't there. No matter how many times he tired to tell his boss that he needed to be close to home, he was dragged away. Every time he came back the first thing he would to was hold me for hours on end. Eventually he would start rubbing my back and feet, cater to my strange food cravings (oreos dipped in peanut butter with a glass of orange juice), and would talk to me about the baby.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"He was there when Cyril kicked for the first time. Levi probably won't admit that he teared up that day, but I know he's a big softy when it comes to the kids. He has his reasons for coming off as being stoic and distant, but I've seen his softer side. When it comes to Cyril's energy, Levi is very patient and I often catch the small smiles that he gives. For someone who was worried about being a father, I think he's doing the greatest job in the world. I remember when Cyril scraped his knee at the park last year. It was during the summer, and he fell while chasing after the boy he was playing tag with. Once Levi got him cleaned up and bandaged he lightly ruffled Cyril's hair and asked him if his knee felt any better. Cyril said he was fine, and Levi called him a 'champ' for being brave while the scrape was being cleaned with a small alcohol pad. We got ice cream afterward. Cyril rode on his father's shoulders the entire way there.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"The two of them will sometimes play games outside, and Levi often spends time with Isabel (even if it the two of them falling asleep on the couch when he gets off work.) Sometimes Levi will check for monsters in Cyril's bedroom before I tuck him in for a bedtime story. Both of us kiss him on the forehead after he's fallen asleep, and Levi never fails to whisper, "Goodnight, champ." in his ear. I once caught him doing that and he just looked away with a slightly sheepish look. It's those cute, unpredictable moments that make me love him.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Now I just wish he would stop ordering take out.p  
>p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004007339478px;"Take care~p 


End file.
